March 18. It’s a day that I will forever dread, but a day I will forever cherish. I’ll cherish it, because it’s Katie’s birthday. I’ll dread it, because she isn’t here to celebrate it. She would’ve been 20 this year. It’s pretty creepy knowing the song playing when Katie and Annie were killed was “If I Die Young” by The Band Perry. I miss my sister. She’s all I can think about.
They say they’re sorry, but what are they sorry for? How could they possibly know what I’m going through? I feel like no one’s ever had to deal with the pain that I’m dealing with right now.
Rant: stop saying it was her time, stop saying it’s part of God’s plan, stop saying He took her home.
Have you people never read the Bible? Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you” declares the LORD “plans to PROSPER you and NOT TO HARM YOU plans to give you a HOPE and a FUTURE.”
I have no hope, the future is uncertain, my sister was killed, (harmed) and so was Annie. So no, this isn’t part of God’s plan. This is all a result of an attack straight from satan. So if you’re gonna say anything like “It’s all God’s plan.”, don’t say anything. Because I’ll get very mad.
Looks like it’ll be another sleepless night. I don’t know what to do. I just walk into her room and sob for hours. I look at her pictures and cry even more. I don’t think I ever want to get behind the wheel of a car. This is the biggest hole in my heart. No one person can fill it. Only God can. I’ve given it to Him and now it’s His time to work His power. I can’t take much more heartbreak.
I want to post a happy blog SO bad, but how can I do that, when I’m not happy? I am utterly heartbroken, at a loss for words, and quite honestly ready to just go crazy and cry for the rest of my life. I miss my sister. So much. It’s not fair. She was the good kid. I’m not a bad kid, but I argue more, disobey more, and I disrespect my parents. (not that I want to, I hate when I do. I just don’t know how to shut up sometimes.) Katie didn’t deserve this. If anyone deserved it, it was me, for all the mistakes I made and the times I screwed up. Why her? Why Annie? They didn’t deserve this. They’re gone now, and never coming back. But someday, we will truly be home and we’ll see them again. Soon, I hope, because I’m not sure how much more of this pain I can take.
“The goal of every Christian on the day they that we see Jesus face to face should be to hear ‘Well done my good and faithful servant.’” - Pastor Mark Driscoll
Not an exact quote, but you get the point.
tumblrbot asked: ROBOTS OR DINOSAURS?
This was my favorite picture of my beautiful sister.
I write this 19 days after the fact, in the aftermath of a terrible, terrible tragedy. I want to scream as loud as I can, for as long as I can, then maybe, just maybe, that will explain a fraction of the pain I’m experiencing through the loss of my big sister. No, anguish is a better description.
On February 10, 2012, my big sister, Katie Elizabeth Walker went to be with Jesus. She wasn’t sick, she wasn’t dying, she was simply here one second, gone the next, a terrible car accident is what stole the life of Katie and her best friend, Anne Donlon.
Here’s the story: At approximately 10:30 A.M. on Friday, February 10, 2012, my sister, Katie Walker, and her classmate and newfound best friend, Anne Donlon were driving down Roberts Cemetery Road in Magnolia, TX, (going the speed limit and 100% sober) as they approached the first turn on this winding, narrow, 3-mile-long country road, going under 35 mph, on a rainy day, Annie hit a wet spot in the road, she then began to lose control of her 2005 Ford Taurus, and slid into the oncoming lane, with my sister’s side, the passenger’s side, exposed, where they were struck by a 2007 Dodge Ram dually farm truck driven by 24 year-old Samuel Espe. (he was also driving 31 in a 35 mph zone and 100% sober) both vehicles carried off into a ditch by a nearby creek bed. The impact was far to much for my 104-pound 19 year-old sister to bear, as she was killed instantly, due to massive body trauma. Anne was also killed immediately. The first to arrive on scene was a passerby who watched the wreck happen, (we later found out that he is our exterminator) followed by his wife, who was in her driveway just feet from where the accident happened. The third person on scene was 17 year-old George Holleway, a homeschooler, like myself. Paramedics arrived and attempted to revive Anne, but it was too late. The passenger’s side was crushed, nearly all the way over to the drivers side door. Katie was pronounced dead as she laid in the car. Both girls leave behind a legacy of loving God more than life itself, and loving others, almost as much. Anne wanted to be a deaf-ed teacher, and Katie was going to study at Oral Roberts University in the Fall so she could become a worship leader. We have seen well over 50 people come to Jesus through the testimonies of these two young ladies. And while it hurts, more than words can describe, we are at peace knowing they’re with Jesus, dancing happily in Heaven. As for the driver of the truck, Sam, he was treated with minor injuries and later released. We do not hold Sam accountable in any way for the death of our beautiful Katie. This was truly a tragic accident.
Sam, if you’re reading this, or if someone who knows Sam is reading this, just know, you are my brother in Christ, and I love you. My heart goes out to you, and it breaks for you, because you not only were you a witness to this accident, you knew Anne. I can’t imagine how you feel. And as I previously said, I (or my family) do not hold you accountable for this tragedy. I want to meet you, and I want to talk to you, and be there for you, like a true brother in Christ should. But only when you’re ready. I’m praying for you.
As for everyone else, please keep my family, the Walkers, the Donlons, the Espes, and anyone else affected by this tragedy in your prayers, and join with us as we fight for justice to honor Katie, Anne, and the 15 other lives that have been lost on this 3-mile stretch of road.
I love this cd! I’m soo excited to own this :)